


It Started Out With A Kiss How Did It End Up Like This???

by Lil_bean_and_his_jishwa21



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Cutting, Domestic Fluff, Eventual Sex, Fluff and Smut, Friendship, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Male Slash, One of My Favorites, Panic Attacks, Porn With Plot, Romance, Slow Build, Teasing, Underage Drinking, Underage Sex, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-15
Updated: 2018-10-29
Packaged: 2019-05-23 13:20:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,120
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14935040
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lil_bean_and_his_jishwa21/pseuds/Lil_bean_and_his_jishwa21
Summary: Tyler Joseph never fit in. He was the one you were told to stay away from or watch out for during lock down. Josh Dun couldn't give a damn about the warnings, he was attracted immediately to the strange boy. The two of them meet and share a moment, little do the two know where this will take them, and how dark the road to yourself can become. Tyler is broken and hurt and Josh needs to find himself, the pair make a better duo than any one could've possibly imagined. But the best things come in the worst ways, the two could light the city, or burn it to nothing, they'll find out...





	1. The one and Only Tyler Joseph

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys this is my first post on Ao3, trying to escape the childish sort of writing that was my entire FanFiction.net account. I really hope you enjoy it ill try to update it and get a real story going here, no promises because I'm bad at this and the controls are different but hey ill stop babbling and start the story........

Tyler Joseph is not your average high school freshman. He tends to keep away from clubs and sports and lunch and people. He is what you would call an introvert. Its not that he didn't like people it was more so a disinterest in everything about them.

Tyler P.O.V

  so I started my freshman year of high school about three weeks ago. I screwed up my schedule and got completely lost on the first day, but no matter how big of a school your in, your reputation precedes you, so no one offered me help to find my classes because no one wants to talk to the creepy kid with a snake obsession. So I wandered until I found my class, I was ten minutes late to every class I had that day. It smoothed over slowly as I learned my schedule and my way around the school. However these things had no help for any of my other problems. Lets get one thing strait, I'm not. I'm gay guys now I'm no obvious flamboyant look at me I'm gay I don't do rainbows and high voice shit but I can wrap my esophagus around a Dick better than anyone in this school . Now of course everyone in my school knows this because that's how things work in towns like mine, small and all knowing. Also homophobic. So you can imagine how much shit a gay 15 year old gets here.

       I wasn't ever the punctual kid excited for school and I never ever will be. I have no reason to ever be and today will be no different than any other.

I got to school miraculously on time but agile got to homeroom after second bell. I sat at my same seat in the corner I always sit in with the only two empty seats in class in front and next to me. My first period class was this room, English, and this seat in the corner with my two empty seats, is where I sat there too.

   class started boring as ever with us repeating the date and starting our notes, no talking. Until of course Mr. Borden walks in to class late with a kid following him, a kid whom I'm have never seen before in my three weeks here. He looks up from under a messy mop of blue hair, he's wearing a Metallica  sweatshirt and jeans, he has piercings across his face, on his lip, his eyebrow, they were the only two things obscuring his otherwise perfect ivory skin. He did however have scruff and perfect hazel eyes that happened to be staring directly at me, and the feeling I got while stared at him was genuine, creepy. Ewwwww what the fuckkkk. No.no.no.no. I will not be catching feelings for a new kid I haven't even talked to. Will I?


	2. New Boy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Josh moves to his new school, MissionCreek HIgh, this chapter is his first day and meeting Tyler from his POV.

_Josh is Starting a new school_

_shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit_

"Have a good day Josh!"

" I will Mom!"

_shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit_

This is supposed to be my fresh start, I can be a popular model student jock, or just isolate myself like I did at my last school. Neither sounds like a good option today as I'm running late, I haven't eaten, brushed my teeth, and I can hear the bus coming down the road. Stupid punctual prick of a driver.

   By some god forsaken miracle I mad it to the bus stop and got on in time, this was only my first problem. I was now standing at the front of a crowded bus full of high schoolers, and I'm not sure where to sit. so I do what any smart person would do, I sat next to the first person I saw without a person n the seat next to them, it seems like a good idea. So I sat. And I screwed myself over with that simple action. The girl I happened to sit next to was the most obnoxiously talkative person id ever met, and I wont lie, I'm a little hung over.

The night before was parties and bar hoping with friends to celebrate my last night in that school, our fake IDs worked at every one, thanks to Pete and his brilliant photo shop skills. Now every time I close my eyes, strobe lights and topless girls flash against my eyelids.

The bus ride was short because thankfully I am the last stop, I also managed to block out every single word the blond on the bus said to me. I got off the bus and walked up to the front desk like my mom had told me to last night, when she briefed me on first day procedures here.

I short chubby woman sat behind a desk that almost completely hid her from any one who walked into the office, had it not been for her saying, "Hello dear!" in an annoyingly cheerful voice, I wouldn't have seen her at all. Her name was Miss. Derek and she was like a small grandmotherly looking woman. I liked her immediately despite the annoying voice ,she showed me my schedule gave me directions to my classes and homeroom, and told me when my lunch was and what my lunch pin was, I had last lunch, fantastic I have to wait until almost 12:30 to get food. This normally wouldn't bother me at all, but I didn't have a great breakfast and I really need some more food.

By the time Miss. Derek finished explain things to me, classes had already started and I was supposed to be in, English class. my least favorite of all classes. Thanks to Miss.D I knew where I was going so I walked to the English classroom and the teacher was already waiting outside for me, so I walked in with him and immediately clammed up and panicked. Every kid in that classes head shot up, and my bright colorful hair didn't help to not draw attention, everyone looked scary or bitchy or judge mental  in someway as I scanned all of their faces, and then in the very back corner I saw a small frail looking kid with black hair and black clothes, and the softest most kind expression I've ever seen, he had soft brown eyes too and he had pen all over his hands and arms, I wanted to go see what he drew but the teacher was talking or whatever so I just stood there until I realized he was talking to me.....

"So Josh that's basically what we do around here feel free to take any empty seat in the classroom and just park your self there alright there?"

"Yes thank you, I'll go sit now." Wow I sound like an idiot, because obviously the class cares that your going to sit down. Damnit Josh could you be anymore of an awkward id- holy shit, the only two open seats in class were either directly in front of or directly next to that kid I saw, with the pen on his hands. Obviously I did what any other kid would do in my situation, I sat right next to him and as the teacher started talking, I decided to send him a note, although he seemed too focused on doodling on his arm to notice me, I sent him a not any way because his features were too soft and his entire being just radiated calm, so I did it....

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed!! until next time loves :)


	3. Josh And Tylers Note

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is just the notes/ texts passed between Josh and Tyler .

On a piece of paper the conversation started like this,

Josh: Hi I'm Josh

*about two minutes-(and eternity) later*

Tyler: Yeah you got introduced to all of us like five minutes ago, I'm Tyler

Josh: Sick Name

Tyler: Punk Name

Josh: So Punk

Tyler: Your Weird, I like you

Josh: Hehe thanks  
(at this point Tyler looks over to see Josh smiling like an idiot at their paper)

Tyler: I know we like literally just met, but we're working on a project in this class and idk if he'll make you do it, but wanna partner up?????

Josh: Totally

Tyler: Awesome

Josh: Wanna come over my place? We can take the bus back to mine and you can brief me on what the project is then well start

Tyler: Sounds cool

Josh: Do you have to ask your parents or will they be cool with u just going

Tyler: I can just go, they don't like me much lol

Josh: okay if its cool with them my mom will be fine

At this point the boys were running out of room to write on the paper, so Tyler, Stating the obvious, wrote this next,

Tyler: Theres not much room on the paper do u want my phone number and we can just text?

Josh: Yeah totally

Tyler gave Josh his number as the class bell rang and it was time to go.

Josh walked away smiling like an idiot, because one period into school and he had a cute guys number.

Tyler walked away with a hint of a smirk on his face, he actually made a friend???? He didn't know he knew how to do that????

Either way both boys were thrilled at their morning.


	4. Robins Egg Compared to an Ocean

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys get through school and then get to go home to work on the project at Josh's house. All the excitement is in the next chapter but this one has a good background info. enjoy lovies:)

              Josh’s day passed by quickly, he had his Algebra class next, a class that smelled strongly of lemon table cleaner and nicotine. The teacher was a short awkward semi balding man called Mr.Serrich, he was nice enough but he talked insanely fast, too much so for poor Josh to understand all at one, and to make matters worse he spoke with a lisp so when Josh later looked in the textbook he realized that when Mr.Serrich said, “ When we decide the deshimal by our ouupoot” he was actually trying to say, “ Then we divide the decimal by the output” but to Josh it all sounded more like,”shenrnkalebrbhfjsjwbwkdkbdfh” and he wasn’t good at math even when he could understand what his teacher was saying to him. 

             His other classes were boring and they did nothing but ice breakers because the teachers wanted him to really feel welcome, so three hours of his day was sitting in a circle on the floor, or in a circle of desks, and telling people his  name his hobbies and something about himself, all while other kids were going around doin the same, Josh however did not hear a single thing any of them did because he was waaaaay too focused on Tyler coming over after school, as final bell got closer and closer all he could focus on was if his room was clean, if his house looked okay? Did his yard have all the boxes out of it? What if he hates it there? What if he ends up hating me? What if m— 

“ Hey so what bus do you take?” 

Tyler had run up behind him, Josh hadn’t noticed he wasn’t alone with his thoughts until Tyler had spoken.

“I take seventeen but do you wanna meet me in front of my home room when they call buses so we don’t like lose each other?”

Josh thought it was a stupid question and regretted it immediately after asking

“Hey list-

“No I’ll meet you outside homeroom and we’ll walk to the busses deal?”

He couldn’t believe he actually wanted spend more time with him? 

            Josh practically sprinted back to his homeroom, he waited in the back of the class, bouncing on the balls of his feet, he wanted to see Tyler so bad but there was no way he wa standing in front, in full view of everyone. He was about to scream of impatience when the announcement came over the loudspeaker, and the stampede of kids ran out of the room with Josh right on everyone's heels, and he ran head-first into Tyler who had been waiting right outside the door, just like he said he would be.

“Hey slow down, where's the fire?”

“Sorry I just didnt wanna lose you or miss the bus or get lost or..”

“Your good dont worry im right here, let's get to the bus.”

         Josh still couldn't describe exactly how he was feeling? He has literally just met this dude today, but walking down the hallway with Tyler, he could feel Tyler next to him, it was like a pleasant tingle going through him anytime they brushed against each other while they pushed through the crow full of high schoolers desperate to get home and sleep. 

Tyler and Josh finally made it to Josh’s bus, almost missing it but they didn't, they got on and walked all the way to the back where there was two open seats so the two squeezed into the small leather seats and began the long bus ride home, Josh is the very last stop so the two had a lot to talk about and a lot of time to do so.

“So the project we’ll have plenty of time to talk about when we get to your house so for now do you wanna like? I don't know, get to know each other? Your not in any of my other classes and Mr.Borden didn't do any kind of activity so I basically know your name.”

Josh was more than happy to have Tyler start the conversation. So he replied,

“Um well my names Joshua Dun, I like music, I play the drums, I can draw pretty good? And I love pizza, and hate bananas with a burning passion.”

Tyler was looking out the window, but smiling at josh's words,

“My name is Tyler Joseph, I also love music, I play the ukulele, I ALSO hate bananas, but my favorite color is  yellow, but I think it might change.”

“ What kind of music are you into?” Josh thought it seemed like a good question to get into to keep the conversation going,

“Rock I guess? It depends on what kind of mood i'm in, I like Green day and My Chemical romance and Hollywood Undead.”

Josh laughed because those were his two favorite bands and his least favorite band, he told tyler and they both laughed and  then tyler said, 

“Which ones are the favorites?”

“I loooove Hollywood undead and MCR.”

“Favorite Hollywood Undead song?”

“Everywhere I Go”

“Awesome.”

      Tyler seemed genuinely interested in the same things as Josh and Josh wouldn't be happy because he was never good at making friends so when he did it was a rare and celebrated occasion.

The boys talked more about their bands and josh’s drums and soon enough there was only the two of them on the bus and Josh’s house was five minutes away.

“So one last question before we have to do the project.” Tyler said.

“Yeah shoot.” was the only response Josh could think of while he saw the way Tyler was looking at him .

“Do you have a girlfriend?”

Josh died right there. His heart skipped ten beats and he just stared at Tyler. Because why would he ask that?

“No I don’t, why?”

Tyler’s face went back to looking out the window as they pulled onto Josh’s street and he responded to Josh,

“Just curious.”

And them the bus screeched to a stop in front of Josh’s house, a two story robins egg blue house with tall windows and a round staircase leading up to a big white door, a big black shingled roof and a small garage perched on the side of a looooooong ass driveway, the yard however was huge.

Josh nervously got off the bus still worried Tyler would hate everything about the house but when Tyler followed him off the bus he just kind of looked at the property and smiled because the house seemed so friendly neighborhood compared to the angsty personality of the boy he just met. The robins egg blue house so soft and subtle compared to the messy striking blue  ocean like hair on the head of the boy next to him.


	5. And I Will Fear the Night Again (But Only If You're Not There)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tyler and Josh get to Josh's house to work on their project, what will this turn into??? Well we will find out soon enough lovies!

We walked down stairs to my room. I got the whole basement to myself when we moved. I didn’t bother to give Tyler a tour because my room and the bathroom is all he needed to know how to find for now. The stair are pretty steep I'll admit that much but I didn’t expect them to be steep enough for Tyler to fall down, so while he was walking behind me I was more than surprised to hear him yelp and then several thuds before my feet were swept out from under me and both of us were literally rolling down the stairs. 

“What the fuck!!” we both yelled almost simultaneously.

“Bro your stairs are like out to get me.”

“Sorry man I dunno why I didn’t warn you.”

“Sorry I bulldozed you.”

We were both fine if anything a little dizzy, but I looked at Tyler and we both just started cracking up laughing at the whole situation.

So we go up and brushed ourselves off, still laughing at the whole thing and then Tyler looked around my room, which wasn’t much right now. There was my bed in the farthest corner of the basement, my beareu and desk and a pile of clothes in the corner and the wall across from the bed was hiding behind a mountain of boxes I've been too lazy to unpack in the last three days, and leaning against the boxes were dozens of rolls of posters that haven't been hung up yet. 

“Sick room, loving the card board vibes, it’s great.” 

“In my defense i had school and I literally just moved in.”

“Want help unpacking?”

“Nah its cool lets get down to working on the project, I don't wanna fall behind after just moving here, what even is the project on?”

“We have to read a Sherlock Holmes story and make a shadow box model of a crime scene.”

“Ew what the hell that's a lot of work.’

“Yeah I know, I was thinking of doing the Speckled Band?”

“Yeah sure lets go for it.”

So I got out the Sherlock Holmes book I was given and brought up the chapter titled, The Speckled Band. And we both started reading separately because we decided that was best seeing as we both read at different paces and neither wanted to be rushed or held back. Tyler finished a minute before I did and I didn’t look up from my book but I could feel his eyes picking me apart and as I finished I looked up and we locked eyes and I paid attention to all the details for the first time since we met, Tyler wore loose faded ripped jeans and black work boots, he was wearing a long black tank top with some Green Day album cover art on it and he has thing bands like bracelets on both arms that tangled with rubber bands wrapped there too, and they all covered the pale white scars that showed through the bracelets when he shifted his arm slightly, his hair was longer on top, shaved at the sides, a slightly wavy shade of dark brown maybe? And his eyes looked so tired but we’re so many colors at once and his eyebrows were stuck in permanent confusion it seemed as I didn’t realize I was saying until he broke the silence that filled the room by saying, 

“So what’d you think of the story?” 

I didn’t want to respond to him I wanted to keep staring at his beautifully soft hair that I wanted to reach out and touch…

“ It was good but the ending seemed strange? They practically forgot the fireplace existed in the story, it was like it was just another detail that had simply been forgotten in the rest of the mystery. I wanted to know why they felt the need to block it off in the first place, why it was even still there? And why would he choose a snake? It’s not common but he could’ve been so easily blamed if they’d found venom or bite marks on the body seeing as he has a fetish of some kind for exotic animals.” 

Tyler stared at me the whole time I was talking and I wanted to call him out for it, ask him what the fuck he was doing but he just looked so content right where he was that it would be sin to interrupt him so I let it be. And we made up a plan for the shadow box, I used one of my old moving boxes and we opened the top and layer it on the side so you were looking into it, then we spray painted the whole thing black and put clay furniture and people inside, a rumpled bed, a bookshelf, the vent, the cemented fireplace, the whole thing took about two hours with both of us working at it together and While we worked we talked more about our interests and favorite thing and where we were from when we moved here, Tyler told me about some of his other friends, and he didn’t seem to have many at this school, but he told stories of him and his friends Pete, Joe, Andy, and Patrick, about their parties and adventures and I told him about My best friends, Gerard ,Frank, Mike, and Ray, all about the crazy shit the five of us would get into, how we’d met in kindergarten and grown up together. All of us but Frank, he moved to our town in grade four and we made it our job to adopt the kid into our friend group, everyone knew he had trouble at home with his parents so we made sure we were like the family he always wanted to have. 

Tyler happily listened to all of this and when we finished the box, which actually looked really good, it was probably 4:45 in the afternoon, my dad was away on business and probably wouldn't be home for two more days at least and my mom doesn't get off work until 10:00 at night at the earliest so I told Tyler that.

“So basically if you wanna stay we can make some food and watch TV if you want?”

“Yeah that’s sounding awesome right now.” He said with a laugh as his stomach growled. So the I ran upstairs while Tyler flipped through the channels on my TV and I ordered Papa Gino’s for the two of us. When he came back down stairs he had to do a double take, because he was almost shocked by the sight of Tyler relaxing just splayed across Josh's bed staring at the TV that was precariously balanced on top of a stack of box’s at the foot of the bed, Tyler looked so gorgeous in that moment that Josh had to take a second and remind himself Tyler was strait. As far as he knew. 

He jumped onto his bed and sat next to Tyler, he had put on Iron man, I hadn’t seen this yet so I just watched while Tyler was more focused again , on me. An I was wondering if this kid actually was strait. I myself was technically Bisexual, I’ve had a few girlfriends here and there and I’ve had a few boyfriends. So I decided I didn’t actually care that much about the movie and I tried to strike up a conversation, so we talked more about his friends from New Hampshire and mine from my old school and by the time the doorbell rang to let us know the pizza was here we both felt like we had known each other for ages. I ran upstairs to grab the pizza and came back down, I grabbed a bottle of soda and waters on the way and when I got back downstairs I walked strait into darkness, Tyler had turned off the lights and the Movie was still on but I don’t think It was Iron man anymore, nope it was Thor Ragnarok now. Sitting on my bed with the pizza and soda we both took down the entire large pizza in like one minute and I was impressed with this kids eating skills. 

“So have you seen this before?” Tyler asked me.

“Yeah once and not gonna lie that big rock guy with the accent is the best part of the whole movie.”

“YOU ARE SO RIGHT!”

“His commentary is so innocently strait forward and funny at the same time it’s just awesome. And he has just that friendly face even though he’s a rock it’s entertaining to look at him!” 

Tyler was still intently staring a t me and I felt the need to bring it up now for some reason. 

“Any reason in particular you’ve been staring at me like all afternoon?”

“ oh shit you noticed that?”

He said blushing and turning back to the TV.

“Well to be honest you haven’t exactly been discreet in your spying.” 

“ I’m sorry it’s just, I can’t figure you out? You seem so normal and delicate and then you just don’t, it’s like your punk rock wrapped in normal and even with all those people staring at you or judging you when you were around me, you didn’t acknowledge or care about them at all and just people don’t usually pick me as a person to talk to because I’m not exactly a welcoming person.” 

Had people been staring and judging? I actually hadn’t t even noticed? 

“ I didn’t t even notice people judging, but no I just saw you and you were like the only one who didn’t look at me like I have ten heads so I just instinctively decided you’d be better than someone who thought I was crazy or something I guess?” 

I thought that was a good answer and I guess it was considering Tyler’s face went from one of inquiry to one of satisfaction. And we continued eating our pizza and when we finished it was barely 7:30, so we talked more, by the time we both shut up it was 9:05 and we knew pretty much everything about each other. I know it was weird, telling your life story to a stranger, but when said stranger had had similar difficulties and equally crazy friends, it’s easy to open up. So when we stopped talking it was five minutes before my mom called.

“Hey sweetie pie I’m gonna be staying overnight I still have a lot of patients coming in, there was a subway accident so a lot of ER entries and a lot of surgeries that means I’ve gotta stay late but I’ll be there around 12 tomorrow at the latest.”

“ Okay mom I’ll see you then, I love you bye.”

“ Love you sweets see you tomorrow.”

My mom worked at the hospital, she’s junior head of surgeries so she’s there a lot especially when there’s some sort of major accident in her hospitals area, so I looked up from my phone and Tyler asked,

“What’s was that about?”

“ just my mom calling to tell me there was a train accident so she wouldn’t be home until later tomorrow so I have the house to myself for the night.”

“She’s a doctor right?”

“A surgeon.”

“So she wasn’t in the accident she was helping fix the people in it?”

“Yeah?”

“Okay good I thought she was in it and you seemed way too cool about it.”

We both laughed at that, it wasn’t even that it was funny it was more stupid but in a funny kind of way?

“So you can sleep over if you want?” Tomorrow was a Tuesday but school let out on Wednesday for spring break and then got right back in session. 

“Yeah sure awesome!”

Tyler sounded like an excited kid when he said that and his eyes absolutely lit up with excitement.

“I’ll go tell my parents.”

He was gone for five or so minutes and are back into the room looking completely drained or any and all motivation,  

“So I can stay the night but I’ll have to bus with you again tomorrow.”

“Yeah no that’s totally fine.”

“You sure you wanna deal with me that long? I mean not to toot my own horn or anything but I'm super annoying.”

“You really aren't. And i'm more than happy to ‘put up’ wit you.”

I was more than happy to put out with him too but we will not be bringing that up right now, wrong place wrong time.

We pulled apart some of my boxes until we found a sleeping bag Tyler could use and we threw down some of my extra pillows for him o use, but now we were faced with the fact that we tore up half the boxes so my stuff was all over the place. Tyler started picking things up, my POP! Figures and action figures, he was putting them on the shelves, along with my comics. 

“Tyler you really don't need to clean up I can push it into the corner until you leave.”

“Hell no I'm helping, you have good ass taste in comics, so I’ll read while I clean.”

“Whatever you say man.”


	6. I'll Fall Into My Head But Only If You're There To Catch Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A late and (almost) conclusion to the boys little sleep over ;)  
> Apologies for taking forever to finish this chapter I was unsure where to go with it :)

This kid had some of the sickest comics I had ever seen, mine were all tattered and old old and obviously well read,  but Josh? He barely bent the spine, they were all neatly placed in plastic slips and alphabetically ordered. I noticed however, that every single one was Marvel, not a single DC in sight? I kept cleaning, scanning each cover as we went and put them on the shelves, and putting Josh’s action figures in the right position before I set them on the shelf. The action figures were also all Marvel? There was nothing left on the floor so we ripped open some more boxes, more comics, desk stuff, hair dye, a lot of clothes and belts, like a million pairs of converse. I was barely speaking to the kid while we  unpacked but he was liking him more and more, he already felt like he’s known the kid forever, but comics, to me could tell a lot about a person, Josh’s in this case portray him as neat, clean and kind, based on how delicately they been handled.

“Hey so that’s all the boxes and your room looks pretty sick if I do say so myself, the T.V. is gonna need a new stand but if you want we can hang up the posters?”

“No its fine I prefer to do that kind of stuff myself? I’m just really picky about where my poster’s get hung and how they do.”

“Okay cool.”

“Thanks for all your help by  the way, I appreciate it because I don’t think i’d ever have been motivated enough to get around to doing it.”

“Hey what are friends for.” 

I never really saw myself as a person who had friends, so when those words came out of my mouth I was shocked to say the least. But I really count Josh as a friend.

“Well it’s getting late, now whaddaya wanna do?”

“Can I smoke in here?”

I’ve been smoking since 7th grade, it was about the same time I tried to run away, and started cutting. It’s not my healthiest obsession but then again, there’s no such thing as a healthy obsession. I told josh about ll of this already she knows how fucked up i am. Yet this kid? Thi brand new kid who could probably be friends with anyone? He still wants to hang around guys like me, or should I say A GUY like ME. 

“Yeah sure dude.”

I flipped open the pack i got the day before, and realized i forgot a lighter.

“Ah fuck.” 

“What’s wrong?”

“Forgot a fuckin lighter.” 

Josh surprised me when he pulled out a lighter matching his hair, and leaned over and lit the cigarette dangling between my lips. I looked up into his eyes while he did it and it was like everything froze where it was an all I could see was his eyes the warmest happiest things in the world, i looked at him and saw a life I hadn’t seen in anyone else’s eyes before, this kid wa broken in the most beautiful ways. I didn’t even realize I was leaning forward until I could feel his breathe on my face, and his beautiful eyes were slanting shut while he leaned forward too, and tyler pulled away suddenly. 

The look of hurt on Josh’s face was evident and he didn’t hide it well, but Tyler just took a long pull of his cig and blew it off to the side. We were sitting on Josh’s bed, he looked like an abused puppy, sad his eyes were bright and shiny and yet filled with sadness at the same time. The look was almost pitiful.

“Josh you look like I just stepped on your puppy.” I figured just bringing it up he might tell me whats wrong. I was incorrect, it in fact, took nearly twenty one minutes exactly to convince him to tell me what’s wrong.

“ I thought you were gonna kiss me.”

The statement was sudden, unexpected, mostly, and through me off pretty solidly.

“Oh.” A terrible response to the situation, to say the least.

“Yah….Oh..”

Josh sounded hurt but very quickly realized he was being depressing, I could tell he was worried about the mood for the evening so I watched him leap off the bed, almost break an ankle, and bound up the stairs. 

He didn’t come back until almost ten minutes later, holding a large mixing bowl. And it wasn’t until he came near me that I realized it was completely full of cookie dough.

“Fuck salmonella this is a cookie dough night.”

I have never looked at Josh with more appreciation than right there,

“I fucking love cookie dough.”

I really do it’s the most comforting food in the universe to me. It was like eating memories, of me and my mom cooking it before my dad got home so we could surprise him on one of his good days and try and cheer him up on the bad ones, bipolar parents are never easy but I would try to help the best I could. Cookie dough was after school snacks with Jenna and Gerard and Moiks and Frankie, Ray never liked it he always called us kids for eating it and saying we were gonna get sick. We ignored him obviously.

Josh and I must’ve fallen asleep eating it, it was late, we had lost track of time earlier but I woke up it was still super dark out. Josh was sprawled across the bed like a starfish, I was curled up around near the end, and the empty cookie dough bowl was somewhere in the middle of the floor, one of us must’ve kicked it off in sleep. I looked over at Josh, his face looked scared and angry, his leg twitched and his whole body jumped. I was scared as fuck. Is he okay? I was worried for this new friend way more than I should be. I looked up and down, from the soft thin blue hair all the way down his muscular built body to his feet dangling off the edge of his bed, and he was still twitching and he was really starting to worry me.

It went on for five or so more minutes and I couldn’t stand him seeming so agitated so I reached over and did the only thing I could think of, I pushed my too thin hand through the thin blue locks and rubbed his head, gingerly rubbing his scalp, I could visibly see all his muscles relax, and untense the unease left his face and I kept rubbing his head until the shakes and twitches stopped and Josh was peacefully laying on his bed without a care in the world, seeing him so at peace made me happy and I laid down fairly close to him.

I was starting to drift into my own sleep when I felt a long strong arm wrap itself around me,coiling around my stomach and pulling me in close, his warm body pressed against mine, he smelled like vanilla and cologne I couldn’t distinguish much more than that because it drifted into a scent entirely his own that made me feel safe and happy, and I passed out right then and there, completely happy, completely carefree and effortlessly fell into my dreams.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed and like I said..... bad at the controls will try and update,,,, soon we shall see what happens to the boys mwahahaha. Hehe jokes, until next time loves.


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